I'm finding it a struggle these days to find time to write posts. I don't even have an excuse for the lack of effort. If anything my opportunity to write should have doubled with little E now at school 2 days a week, yet I feel like days and weeks just pass before my eyes without me having done or accomplished a thing.
I think my lack of production confuses me the most these days. Where does the time go? What do I do?
First, how can four people produce SO much laundry and make SO much mess- especially when the smallest two are away from the house 3 days a week. I feel like I'm constantly putting on the washing machine, dishwasher and cleaning up the floor and when I'm doing that I'm thinking about clothes mountain I have to fold, put away and the dinner I have to prepare for myself. I keep thinking that one of these days I'll be in a routine and things will get easier...when, I'm not sure, but hoping soon.
We've been in the US now for 5 months and I still feel like somedays I've just arrived and that I'm still in the chaos of having just moved country. Our house is littered with 'to do' jobs and 'will get there' projects that wait for weekends and then weeks and then weekends again. I sometimes dream that a seven bed country home with enough space to hide everything might make me feel like my life is a bit less chaotic.
I am confused about a lot of things these days. I received the 'good to go' from the US government a few weeks ago and am now officially allowed to seek employment here. I have always wanted to go back to work. I don't know why but being a full time SAHM (which btw means stay at home mom- took me a while to figure that out too) has never been something I wanted. I love my kids, just not 24/7/365. So, with the rest of America I began looking for work. I've been pretty fortunate in the past having fallen into roles and having known the right people to get the right jobs before W and E but here in the city of dreams I feel lost. I have registered with agencies, spoken to contacts, googled jobs till I'm square eyed yet nothing. I've woken up to a whole world of NO.
I used to love job hunting, interviews and everything that came with it. I used to think it meant an hour devoted to talking about me. And now I love the idea of getting dressed up, feeling like I can wear clothes that aren't going to have grubby hands smeared all over them within five minutes. I've been feeling a bit down hearted that despite my efforts I haven't received much love. I seemed to think it would be easier.
I am still trying to market and promote Little Prints William here in Hoboken and New York and have also recently taken up sewing and started a new project called That Sew Cute. Maybe this is where my time goes? Making seriously cute baby bedding and accessories for little E has now got me thinking I can do it for the general public. If you haven't already had the chance - check out my new website: www.thatsewcute.com.
As I write this my house looks like an indian wedding, I've rice stuck between my toes and I'd rather sit in the corner ignoring the kids, sipping my cold Sav B hoping the mess cleans itself up then face up to it.
Pete is out tonight having drinks after work and although I obviously don't mind his time out and appreciate he needs some time to have fun too, I wonder now what it's like to go out not having to worry about feeding, bath and bed whilst trying to put on make up and change outfits three of four times. At least here I'm not sweating like I used to in Singapore. Although I remember in Singapore I never used to bath my kids, or put them to bed- and then I get depressed and have more wine.
Despite my moaning, I'm loving Hoboken, my new friends, Macy's and my new wardrobe (pics should follow soon) and can't wait till summer here. Next Wednesday I am off to Miami beach for 4 nights sans kids (thanks Granny and Gaga). Life is incredibly different from what it was this time last year but I don't think I'd go back or change a thing.
It might be lonelier, much more hard work but wine is a sh*t load cheaper - thank God!
x
No comments:
Post a Comment