Trying and testing times. That's what I'd call these past few weeks. But seriously what should I expect considering the circumstances?
Some people look at me with dumbfound astonishment when I explain to them our 'situation'. I think that some are jealous (some) but most must think; 'You crazy stupid woman, Why would you do that to yourself?'
And why do I? I don't know.
We are currently somewhere in between Vegas and Los Angeles on a 17 day road trip. We are visiting 9 cities, crossing three states and will clock up more than 2500 miles. Our kids are spending on average 4 hours a day in the car and being subjected to restaurant food, extremely cold weather, make- shift beds and small hotel rooms with limited toys. And yet sometimes it still puzzles me why they seem different and less enthusiastic about most things. Is this not what kids love?
I love being an expat. I love traveling. Driving through the Nevada country side yesterday in the barren dry land, bar the odd weird looking barn which I swear is where most horror movies are filmed, I love taking photographs of this beautiful country. It is so diverse and in some ways reminds me a lot of South Africa. One minute you're in 18 inches of snow with pine cones littering the streets, icicles dangling off roof tops and the next you're in dry land, towns with tumbleweed, strip malls and casinos's everywhere you look.
We are currently staying in a beautiful place in north California called Mammoth Lakes. Yesterday involved taking William to the local hospital to get checked out as he hasn't eaten anything since leaving New York on Thursday, has hardly said a word and has been sleeping for about 17 hours a day. In some circumstances I would have thought this a pretty good thing but on holiday it's proving quite, well, inconvenient.
Turns out he's ok but whilst filling out forms at the surgery and talking to the DR I find explaining our 'situation' rather complicated.
We're traveling from New York, no we live in New Jersey -oh yes Hoboken, yes, we got flooded in the hurricane, no everyone's fine thankfully, the accent? no, not american, South African actually but my husband is from Northern Ireland. Kids not used to the cold, born in Singapore, yes only moved here 10 months ago, do you like it here? yes love it. Sadly leaving, Moving to London in 3 weeks. Where we going next? Vegas. With two kids? Um, yes unless you can recommend anywhere we can leave them for 3 days. (Luckily she didn't think I was serious)
As much as I like being an expat, I'm tired of explaining myself and maybe I'm starting to like the idea of not being 'not from here'.
We fly home next weekend and have eight days before the movers arrive to up sticks our stuff to London. Address still currently undecided.
I'm going to be closer to my family, the kids might finally have a home, find friends they'll keep longer for three years and we can get a cat they ask for every time we see one. I also realise that as beautiful as Hoboken and New York is, maybe I was in this post Singapore bubble that made me think that nowhere else in the world would compare. I thought that until I got here. San Francisco is beautiful and the west country is, if not, even more spectacular.
Maybe I'll find more beauty in places I'm not expecting.
And maybe at least my kids might settle, calm down and not expect to go to hotels and on holiday every second week.
I can finally admit, I'm looking forward to London.
Of course that might all change after tomorrow when I win millions in Vegas and am able to buy my way into this country.......check back in tomorrow!
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Saturday, 3 November 2012
BOKEN, NOT BROKEN.
I think words cannot describe what this week has been like.
There are certain things in life I thought, or assumed I might never have to live through. In my mind I always assume, I'm sure like most other mothers do, that my kids will grow up healthy, I'll live a long and happy life and that I'll never have to face hardship, disaster or unprecedented grief before it's time.
I also assume, or hope, I'll never die in a plane crash, get struck by lighting or be run over by a bus. Much like I never thought I'd have to live through a tsunami, earthquake or hurricane. From a small town in South Africa at one point in my life this seemed a given.
Then, last week whilst on a family trip to Washington DC we slowly learnt that a category 1 hurricane was fast approaching the east coast of the US expecting to make landfall on the Jersey Shore sometime late Monday night. It seemed unreal, especially as we sat in Gerogetown, Washington DC on Saturday afternoon there wasn't a breath of wind and at one point it seemed as warm as a mid summers day. We kept joking to each other - there couldn't possibly be a big storm coming. Frankenstorm as she was nick named.
Hurricane Sandy has been described as the worst storm ever. A super-storm that has restulted in hundreds dead, $50 billions worth of damage and for me, a lifetimes worth of bad memories.
We arrived back to Hoboken late Sunday afternoon and within minutes we where sandbagging our doorways, taping the windows, tying down furniture and late Sunday evening I spent almost two hours driving around Hoboken and Jersey City looking for higher ground to park our car. It was a mad dash to try find water, fresh milk, flashlights, batteries, beer and wine. It was serious Armageddon.
And then after all the chaos our curfew kicked into place and just like that we where locked up, sandbagged and house bound until further notice. It all seemed too surreal. We fed the kids early, bathed them, filled the baths, baby baths and two storage containers with water, charged everything we could find and sat and waited.
Our house is situated between two taller blocks of flats and behind another two so in some ways quite protected from wind. It's also incredibly sound proof. The double or triple glazing is incredible. In between the TV, chatting and making dinner we could hear wind but nothing like what was going on outside.
Pete casually wandered down to our bedroom around 9pm and found this.
Adams Road, or is that Adams River. We couldnt' believe our eyes. It was gushing down the street and we could barely open the windows without fear of them blowing off the hinges. We sat and watched the water rise and rise and soon worried for the safety of our things on the lower level of our property and the kids asleep in their bedroom on the same level as this.
By 2am Tuesday morning we had firefighters paroling the streets in boats putting out fires caused by trees bringing the power cables down, and rescuing families from their homes. In between the dying wind, the gushing water, car alarms, and the high pitched shrieks from the electrical power stations being flooded I dozed into sleep thinking that by morning it would all be over.
Tuesday morning we woke up to no power. The day was spent in doors with 6ft of water blocking our way out and with no lights, no internet, no TV and no radio we where non the wiser to the destruction that Sandy had created. My phone started beeping every five minutes with messages from all over the world saying ' We've seen the photos, are you ok?' ' Seen this picture on the news and heard about Hoboken, I hope you're ok' Really? We had no idea! It was the worst 24 hours.
Despite that, the kids seemed non the wiser and quite enjoyed the novelty of 'no lectricity'. We enjoyed the time to play games, watch the water from our bedroom window and eat dinner by camp light.
By Wednesday afternoon the water had receded enough for us to try venture out the house and for this intense want to know what had happened and see the destruction, I put on the wellies, plastic bagged my legs and headed out. Hoboken was more than 70% under water and the streets where horrible - dark dirty water stained with sewage and gas leaks, littered with trees, random cars and the odd personal item.
Finally by late Wednesday we where able to shoulder lift the kids to higher ground to give them some much needed fresh air and the chance to jump in muddy puddles.
There has been far too much going on since Wednesday making it impossible for me to write about it, but we've since gained our power back, hosted several play dates, cooked for our neighbours, walked the streets trying to figure out ways to help those that have lost their homes and above and beyond that keep the kids happy and safe.
It is SO sad to see the destruction that Sandy has caused in Hoboken but I can't even begin to think what it's been like for those in areas like Staten Island and the Jersey Shore which where hit worse. My heart goes out to every single person who's been affected by this.
As for Hoboken, I'm sure she'll recover. Eventually. We've only got 20 days left before our forced eviction from the US so sadly we may not see her back to her original beauty but in my mind this truly has been the best city I have ever lived in and will always have very very special memories for me and my kids.
Adams Street from our Roof
Our closest pub
Whats left of people's house and lives
Saturday 3rd, the clam after the storm
There are certain things in life I thought, or assumed I might never have to live through. In my mind I always assume, I'm sure like most other mothers do, that my kids will grow up healthy, I'll live a long and happy life and that I'll never have to face hardship, disaster or unprecedented grief before it's time.
I also assume, or hope, I'll never die in a plane crash, get struck by lighting or be run over by a bus. Much like I never thought I'd have to live through a tsunami, earthquake or hurricane. From a small town in South Africa at one point in my life this seemed a given.
Then, last week whilst on a family trip to Washington DC we slowly learnt that a category 1 hurricane was fast approaching the east coast of the US expecting to make landfall on the Jersey Shore sometime late Monday night. It seemed unreal, especially as we sat in Gerogetown, Washington DC on Saturday afternoon there wasn't a breath of wind and at one point it seemed as warm as a mid summers day. We kept joking to each other - there couldn't possibly be a big storm coming. Frankenstorm as she was nick named.
Hurricane Sandy has been described as the worst storm ever. A super-storm that has restulted in hundreds dead, $50 billions worth of damage and for me, a lifetimes worth of bad memories.
We arrived back to Hoboken late Sunday afternoon and within minutes we where sandbagging our doorways, taping the windows, tying down furniture and late Sunday evening I spent almost two hours driving around Hoboken and Jersey City looking for higher ground to park our car. It was a mad dash to try find water, fresh milk, flashlights, batteries, beer and wine. It was serious Armageddon.
Our house is situated between two taller blocks of flats and behind another two so in some ways quite protected from wind. It's also incredibly sound proof. The double or triple glazing is incredible. In between the TV, chatting and making dinner we could hear wind but nothing like what was going on outside.
Pete casually wandered down to our bedroom around 9pm and found this.
Adams Road, or is that Adams River. We couldnt' believe our eyes. It was gushing down the street and we could barely open the windows without fear of them blowing off the hinges. We sat and watched the water rise and rise and soon worried for the safety of our things on the lower level of our property and the kids asleep in their bedroom on the same level as this.
By 2am Tuesday morning we had firefighters paroling the streets in boats putting out fires caused by trees bringing the power cables down, and rescuing families from their homes. In between the dying wind, the gushing water, car alarms, and the high pitched shrieks from the electrical power stations being flooded I dozed into sleep thinking that by morning it would all be over.
Tuesday morning we woke up to no power. The day was spent in doors with 6ft of water blocking our way out and with no lights, no internet, no TV and no radio we where non the wiser to the destruction that Sandy had created. My phone started beeping every five minutes with messages from all over the world saying ' We've seen the photos, are you ok?' ' Seen this picture on the news and heard about Hoboken, I hope you're ok' Really? We had no idea! It was the worst 24 hours.
Despite that, the kids seemed non the wiser and quite enjoyed the novelty of 'no lectricity'. We enjoyed the time to play games, watch the water from our bedroom window and eat dinner by camp light.
By Wednesday afternoon the water had receded enough for us to try venture out the house and for this intense want to know what had happened and see the destruction, I put on the wellies, plastic bagged my legs and headed out. Hoboken was more than 70% under water and the streets where horrible - dark dirty water stained with sewage and gas leaks, littered with trees, random cars and the odd personal item.
Finally by late Wednesday we where able to shoulder lift the kids to higher ground to give them some much needed fresh air and the chance to jump in muddy puddles.
There has been far too much going on since Wednesday making it impossible for me to write about it, but we've since gained our power back, hosted several play dates, cooked for our neighbours, walked the streets trying to figure out ways to help those that have lost their homes and above and beyond that keep the kids happy and safe.
It is SO sad to see the destruction that Sandy has caused in Hoboken but I can't even begin to think what it's been like for those in areas like Staten Island and the Jersey Shore which where hit worse. My heart goes out to every single person who's been affected by this.
As for Hoboken, I'm sure she'll recover. Eventually. We've only got 20 days left before our forced eviction from the US so sadly we may not see her back to her original beauty but in my mind this truly has been the best city I have ever lived in and will always have very very special memories for me and my kids.
Adams Street from our Roof
Our closest pub
Whats left of people's house and lives
Saturday 3rd, the clam after the storm
Thursday, 20 September 2012
It'll be alright in the end...
It'll be alright in the end..if it's not alright, it's not the end.
As I was packing quite anxiously, yet excitedly yesterday morning for my five day trip to London without the kids I received a text message from my husband simply saying,
Sorry P
(P being short for princess). I was confused. Sorry for what? I racked my brain for things I thought he'd done wrong that morning before rushing out the door to work. Nothing came to mind. So I typed my reply,
Sorry for what?
and then I remembered...
Amidst my excitement at leaving housework and the kids for a long weekend to see friends and family in London and enjoy the only business class flights I would have ever take without the kids, we where slap bang in the middle of one very big ugly cloud of uncertainty regarding my husband's job. It was rumored that a large number of people where going to be let go this week from his firm and yet despite joking about it, we never really thought it would happen to us. I mean seriously. The company had recently just paid almost a quarter of a million dollars to relocate us from Singapore to the USA. They wouldn't really let him go would they? We'd only be here 9 months....
Oh yeah?.... in the cut throat world that is banking, no body gives a f*k about anybody but themselves. (ok, so that's my opinion) And so after 9 years service and a million and one hours (and that's probably just since we've moved to the US) I find I have a husband at home. A victim of the global financial crisis.
I didn't get a reply from my text message. Instead I got a phone call to say,
'I'm on the 10.45 ferry, beer in 30 minutes?' FU*************K! NOOOOOOO!
I am obviously upset for him. He's lost his job, the certainty he had about how to provide for our family, the routine he's had for the past 14 years. Yes, it must be odd, but I feel like there is so much more than that.
This year has thrown everything its got at me. Moving country, dealing with being alone and taking responsibility for my children for the first time ever, adjusting to American culture, coping with being a single parent whilst my husband worked 72 hour weeks, leaving my husband, dealing with separation, reuniting, counseling, moving the kids out of school, putting the kids back in school and finally last month settling William into pre-K and buying a house. I kept thinking no wonder I'm not settled. Maybe come December when we finally take the keys to our new house and move into our first family home things will be better. Maybe.. or maybe not. So just when I thought the cloud of doom had finally lifted.... another shitty hand.
Who knows what happens now. I cancelled my flight to London and began thinking of everything that might change in the next few months. We've had to pull out our house sale and rethink everything we've been planning. It's only been a day with Pete at home but already I sense William knows something is up. He's moody and acting up and for the first time ever screamed and kicked his teachers when I dropped him off at school this morning. We haven't told him daddy wasn't going to work and we haven't told him we're not moving into the nice new house he keeps going on about (it surprises me what a 3 year old remembers) yet he seems to know. Cant wait to tell him we're leaving the country and his friends... again!!
I'm teary eyed now just thinking about having to leave the US and Hoboken. It's been a hellish 9 months, yes I've had to deal with more drama than I can imagine but I love it here. In 9 months I love Hoboken and New York more than I ever did Singapore and I just can't imagine being made to leave. Pity it's not up to me.
As I was packing quite anxiously, yet excitedly yesterday morning for my five day trip to London without the kids I received a text message from my husband simply saying,
Sorry P
(P being short for princess). I was confused. Sorry for what? I racked my brain for things I thought he'd done wrong that morning before rushing out the door to work. Nothing came to mind. So I typed my reply,
Sorry for what?
and then I remembered...
Amidst my excitement at leaving housework and the kids for a long weekend to see friends and family in London and enjoy the only business class flights I would have ever take without the kids, we where slap bang in the middle of one very big ugly cloud of uncertainty regarding my husband's job. It was rumored that a large number of people where going to be let go this week from his firm and yet despite joking about it, we never really thought it would happen to us. I mean seriously. The company had recently just paid almost a quarter of a million dollars to relocate us from Singapore to the USA. They wouldn't really let him go would they? We'd only be here 9 months....
Oh yeah?.... in the cut throat world that is banking, no body gives a f*k about anybody but themselves. (ok, so that's my opinion) And so after 9 years service and a million and one hours (and that's probably just since we've moved to the US) I find I have a husband at home. A victim of the global financial crisis.
I didn't get a reply from my text message. Instead I got a phone call to say,
'I'm on the 10.45 ferry, beer in 30 minutes?' FU*************K! NOOOOOOO!
I am obviously upset for him. He's lost his job, the certainty he had about how to provide for our family, the routine he's had for the past 14 years. Yes, it must be odd, but I feel like there is so much more than that.
This year has thrown everything its got at me. Moving country, dealing with being alone and taking responsibility for my children for the first time ever, adjusting to American culture, coping with being a single parent whilst my husband worked 72 hour weeks, leaving my husband, dealing with separation, reuniting, counseling, moving the kids out of school, putting the kids back in school and finally last month settling William into pre-K and buying a house. I kept thinking no wonder I'm not settled. Maybe come December when we finally take the keys to our new house and move into our first family home things will be better. Maybe.. or maybe not. So just when I thought the cloud of doom had finally lifted.... another shitty hand.
Who knows what happens now. I cancelled my flight to London and began thinking of everything that might change in the next few months. We've had to pull out our house sale and rethink everything we've been planning. It's only been a day with Pete at home but already I sense William knows something is up. He's moody and acting up and for the first time ever screamed and kicked his teachers when I dropped him off at school this morning. We haven't told him daddy wasn't going to work and we haven't told him we're not moving into the nice new house he keeps going on about (it surprises me what a 3 year old remembers) yet he seems to know. Cant wait to tell him we're leaving the country and his friends... again!!
I'm teary eyed now just thinking about having to leave the US and Hoboken. It's been a hellish 9 months, yes I've had to deal with more drama than I can imagine but I love it here. In 9 months I love Hoboken and New York more than I ever did Singapore and I just can't imagine being made to leave. Pity it's not up to me.
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
decisions decisions decisions....and some insomnia
I read a lot of blogs. It seems there are thousands of moms; wives; expats out there who find the same sense of satisfaction or fulfillment I do in sharing life, stories, pictures and adventures with the unknown. I don't know why I started this blog initially. Maybe it was because I figured with moving country and heading out into the unknown it was a way for me to share what I was feeling and experiencing with the unknown. I felt like I could be honest with what I did, how I behaved and who I am at a time when I didn't have many people to talk to.
It's July already and everyday I'm here I keep thinking about how I can't believe I still live in America. Am I weird in thinking that after seven months I should feel settled? Should I? Or is it normal to still feel like my house is ok to be messy because we just moved in? I feel like apologizing to the managing agents every time they pop round to fix something but clearly they know we haven't just moved in.
The past seven months has been a whirlwind of emotion based on decisions I never thought I'd have to make as a mother or as a 32 year old. I still occasionally feel so childish that I'm seriously not old enough to have two toddlers who are solely dependent on me making decisions that will affect and shape their livelihood. That can't be right. I can't decide most days what to wear, what to do or what to have for dinner. How am I meant to make more meaningful choices for two small kids?
Take my son for example, he's still enjoying day care three days a week, and this month (August)- sh*t it's August, sorry correction for above, I thought it was still July- is his last month at his current private centre. Next month he begins Pre-K in Hoboken which I'm incredibly nervous about. Will loves his school and his teachers and I'm so concerned that moving him from something that he finds so settling will only cause more disruption to his already chaotic three year old life. I sometimes look at him in awe and wander how much of all of this he might remember. I'm sure he certainly won't remember Singapore and all the friends he made there but I wander how much of Hoboken and the US he'll take in.
Since arriving here 8 months ago we've already been to Houston, South Africa, England and Virignia and he's been taken in and put back in school too many times for me to count. I've approached the subject of him now having to attend a different school but I'm not sure he fully understands it yet. His private daycare is lovely. Of course it is, it's private so I pay a lot of lovely money for it to be lovely and well lets just say that the public schools in Hoboken are nice. I'm probably over thinking everything and I'm sure to any three year old it probably won't matter. I'm sure with undivided attention, the opportunity to paint when he wants, toys and 14 other kids to play with he'll be happy. But I can't help thinking that I have the power to make a decision and what if its the wrong one.
Little E on the other hand is another story. I am amazed by her with each passing day. Not to say that William isn't extraordinary in his own way, and for those who know me well - this is NOT me declaring she is my favorite!! (that's a whole other story) but she's exceptional. At 22 months I'm able to take her to a coffee shop, sit her in a normal chair, order her food from a menu - which can contain any number of vegetables and which she'll eat, and have a conversation with her about what we've done and what's going on around us. She's the most amusing thing I have going on these days. She can make me smile by just looking at me and when she opens that mouth of hers I'm honestly amazed at what comes out. I don't remember William talking as much at this age -with the ability to understand and remember. Little E has moved from parrot talking to stringing sentences which everyday astounds me.
Only today she picked up a toy microphone and sang the whole two verses of Old MacDonald whilst trying to dance. Sadly she seems to have got her moves from her dad as well.
I fear with speech however comes attitude. I am faced with "No mommy, Emma will do it' often followed five minutes later by 'Help Mommy, Emma can't do it' and "Yay, Mommy did it' and quite often she'll walk over to me with a cup in hand and say ' Emma water please, Get up mommy. Up Mommy.' Which she'll repeat parrot fashion until I do. She's one determined, strong willed little girl who certainly knows most days what she wants to wear and what she's going to do. But I think she's a LOT like me. Maybe that's why I love her so much.
After our month long vacation in England and Virginia beach this past month I had the pleasure of dropping E off at day care today for the first time only for her to throw such a tantrum she managed to kick her teacher in the face. Let's hope tomorrow will be better.
This week I have the joy (and I mean that in the least sarcastic way) of house hunting. We have decided that despite job uncertainty and what ever else life might throw at us, we want to live in Hoboken for the forceable future and so might as well look to try give our kids one thing I've wanted since before they where born. Our own home. House hunting however only brings more and more decisions I'm likely to have to face, which I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by already and I don't even know what they are. I'm clearly problematic.
I am looking forward to poking my head into other peoples lives for a bit and I do love nesting so will keep you posted.
I have managed to take tiredness these days to an all new extreme level. Only recently on our drive back from Virginia beach, after being behind the wheel for over eight hours with a husband and two chatty, noisy kids in the back, I was honestly delirious. I had never felt that exhausted before. I forgot it was eight hours behind the wheel interspersed with two hours at Chucky Cheese! Anyway, driving along the Pulaski skyway heading back into Hoboken with the beautiful Manhattan skyline ahead of us, I swerved the car unexpectedly, luckily escaping impact with anything to the right of me only to avoid a monkey. Yes, monkey. A monkey on a busy motorway over a bridge in the middle of a city. OK. So it was actually a brown paper bag with a few loose ends but I honestly seriously thought it was a monkey. I should have stropped driving at that point. Yesterday, although I wasn't seeing wildlife or anything else strange as such, I was borderline over the limit again and found myself talking to myself for nearly an hour before Pete arrived home from work only to realize I was alone.
I never used to be an insomniac but with the kids sharing a room and the noise that Hoboken provides us, I have found that since moving to the US I am becoming an increasingly frequent night owl. I would happily sit up till 1am knowing that If I went to bed then and woke up two hours later it would be 3 and then it meant I could get up as it was only 3 hours till light. God help me in Winter. I might need to invest in some relaxation therapy.
Saying that its almost 1am now and I should take myself off to bed. Till next time. x
It's July already and everyday I'm here I keep thinking about how I can't believe I still live in America. Am I weird in thinking that after seven months I should feel settled? Should I? Or is it normal to still feel like my house is ok to be messy because we just moved in? I feel like apologizing to the managing agents every time they pop round to fix something but clearly they know we haven't just moved in.
The past seven months has been a whirlwind of emotion based on decisions I never thought I'd have to make as a mother or as a 32 year old. I still occasionally feel so childish that I'm seriously not old enough to have two toddlers who are solely dependent on me making decisions that will affect and shape their livelihood. That can't be right. I can't decide most days what to wear, what to do or what to have for dinner. How am I meant to make more meaningful choices for two small kids?
Take my son for example, he's still enjoying day care three days a week, and this month (August)- sh*t it's August, sorry correction for above, I thought it was still July- is his last month at his current private centre. Next month he begins Pre-K in Hoboken which I'm incredibly nervous about. Will loves his school and his teachers and I'm so concerned that moving him from something that he finds so settling will only cause more disruption to his already chaotic three year old life. I sometimes look at him in awe and wander how much of all of this he might remember. I'm sure he certainly won't remember Singapore and all the friends he made there but I wander how much of Hoboken and the US he'll take in.
Since arriving here 8 months ago we've already been to Houston, South Africa, England and Virignia and he's been taken in and put back in school too many times for me to count. I've approached the subject of him now having to attend a different school but I'm not sure he fully understands it yet. His private daycare is lovely. Of course it is, it's private so I pay a lot of lovely money for it to be lovely and well lets just say that the public schools in Hoboken are nice. I'm probably over thinking everything and I'm sure to any three year old it probably won't matter. I'm sure with undivided attention, the opportunity to paint when he wants, toys and 14 other kids to play with he'll be happy. But I can't help thinking that I have the power to make a decision and what if its the wrong one.
Little E on the other hand is another story. I am amazed by her with each passing day. Not to say that William isn't extraordinary in his own way, and for those who know me well - this is NOT me declaring she is my favorite!! (that's a whole other story) but she's exceptional. At 22 months I'm able to take her to a coffee shop, sit her in a normal chair, order her food from a menu - which can contain any number of vegetables and which she'll eat, and have a conversation with her about what we've done and what's going on around us. She's the most amusing thing I have going on these days. She can make me smile by just looking at me and when she opens that mouth of hers I'm honestly amazed at what comes out. I don't remember William talking as much at this age -with the ability to understand and remember. Little E has moved from parrot talking to stringing sentences which everyday astounds me.
Only today she picked up a toy microphone and sang the whole two verses of Old MacDonald whilst trying to dance. Sadly she seems to have got her moves from her dad as well.
I fear with speech however comes attitude. I am faced with "No mommy, Emma will do it' often followed five minutes later by 'Help Mommy, Emma can't do it' and "Yay, Mommy did it' and quite often she'll walk over to me with a cup in hand and say ' Emma water please, Get up mommy. Up Mommy.' Which she'll repeat parrot fashion until I do. She's one determined, strong willed little girl who certainly knows most days what she wants to wear and what she's going to do. But I think she's a LOT like me. Maybe that's why I love her so much.
After our month long vacation in England and Virginia beach this past month I had the pleasure of dropping E off at day care today for the first time only for her to throw such a tantrum she managed to kick her teacher in the face. Let's hope tomorrow will be better.
This week I have the joy (and I mean that in the least sarcastic way) of house hunting. We have decided that despite job uncertainty and what ever else life might throw at us, we want to live in Hoboken for the forceable future and so might as well look to try give our kids one thing I've wanted since before they where born. Our own home. House hunting however only brings more and more decisions I'm likely to have to face, which I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by already and I don't even know what they are. I'm clearly problematic.
I am looking forward to poking my head into other peoples lives for a bit and I do love nesting so will keep you posted.
I have managed to take tiredness these days to an all new extreme level. Only recently on our drive back from Virginia beach, after being behind the wheel for over eight hours with a husband and two chatty, noisy kids in the back, I was honestly delirious. I had never felt that exhausted before. I forgot it was eight hours behind the wheel interspersed with two hours at Chucky Cheese! Anyway, driving along the Pulaski skyway heading back into Hoboken with the beautiful Manhattan skyline ahead of us, I swerved the car unexpectedly, luckily escaping impact with anything to the right of me only to avoid a monkey. Yes, monkey. A monkey on a busy motorway over a bridge in the middle of a city. OK. So it was actually a brown paper bag with a few loose ends but I honestly seriously thought it was a monkey. I should have stropped driving at that point. Yesterday, although I wasn't seeing wildlife or anything else strange as such, I was borderline over the limit again and found myself talking to myself for nearly an hour before Pete arrived home from work only to realize I was alone.
I never used to be an insomniac but with the kids sharing a room and the noise that Hoboken provides us, I have found that since moving to the US I am becoming an increasingly frequent night owl. I would happily sit up till 1am knowing that If I went to bed then and woke up two hours later it would be 3 and then it meant I could get up as it was only 3 hours till light. God help me in Winter. I might need to invest in some relaxation therapy.
Saying that its almost 1am now and I should take myself off to bed. Till next time. x
Thursday, 3 May 2012
something about nothing...
I'm finding it a struggle these days to find time to write posts. I don't even have an excuse for the lack of effort. If anything my opportunity to write should have doubled with little E now at school 2 days a week, yet I feel like days and weeks just pass before my eyes without me having done or accomplished a thing.
I think my lack of production confuses me the most these days. Where does the time go? What do I do?
First, how can four people produce SO much laundry and make SO much mess- especially when the smallest two are away from the house 3 days a week. I feel like I'm constantly putting on the washing machine, dishwasher and cleaning up the floor and when I'm doing that I'm thinking about clothes mountain I have to fold, put away and the dinner I have to prepare for myself. I keep thinking that one of these days I'll be in a routine and things will get easier...when, I'm not sure, but hoping soon.
We've been in the US now for 5 months and I still feel like somedays I've just arrived and that I'm still in the chaos of having just moved country. Our house is littered with 'to do' jobs and 'will get there' projects that wait for weekends and then weeks and then weekends again. I sometimes dream that a seven bed country home with enough space to hide everything might make me feel like my life is a bit less chaotic.
I am confused about a lot of things these days. I received the 'good to go' from the US government a few weeks ago and am now officially allowed to seek employment here. I have always wanted to go back to work. I don't know why but being a full time SAHM (which btw means stay at home mom- took me a while to figure that out too) has never been something I wanted. I love my kids, just not 24/7/365. So, with the rest of America I began looking for work. I've been pretty fortunate in the past having fallen into roles and having known the right people to get the right jobs before W and E but here in the city of dreams I feel lost. I have registered with agencies, spoken to contacts, googled jobs till I'm square eyed yet nothing. I've woken up to a whole world of NO.
I used to love job hunting, interviews and everything that came with it. I used to think it meant an hour devoted to talking about me. And now I love the idea of getting dressed up, feeling like I can wear clothes that aren't going to have grubby hands smeared all over them within five minutes. I've been feeling a bit down hearted that despite my efforts I haven't received much love. I seemed to think it would be easier.
I am still trying to market and promote Little Prints William here in Hoboken and New York and have also recently taken up sewing and started a new project called That Sew Cute. Maybe this is where my time goes? Making seriously cute baby bedding and accessories for little E has now got me thinking I can do it for the general public. If you haven't already had the chance - check out my new website: www.thatsewcute.com.
As I write this my house looks like an indian wedding, I've rice stuck between my toes and I'd rather sit in the corner ignoring the kids, sipping my cold Sav B hoping the mess cleans itself up then face up to it.
Pete is out tonight having drinks after work and although I obviously don't mind his time out and appreciate he needs some time to have fun too, I wonder now what it's like to go out not having to worry about feeding, bath and bed whilst trying to put on make up and change outfits three of four times. At least here I'm not sweating like I used to in Singapore. Although I remember in Singapore I never used to bath my kids, or put them to bed- and then I get depressed and have more wine.
Despite my moaning, I'm loving Hoboken, my new friends, Macy's and my new wardrobe (pics should follow soon) and can't wait till summer here. Next Wednesday I am off to Miami beach for 4 nights sans kids (thanks Granny and Gaga). Life is incredibly different from what it was this time last year but I don't think I'd go back or change a thing.
It might be lonelier, much more hard work but wine is a sh*t load cheaper - thank God!
x
I think my lack of production confuses me the most these days. Where does the time go? What do I do?
First, how can four people produce SO much laundry and make SO much mess- especially when the smallest two are away from the house 3 days a week. I feel like I'm constantly putting on the washing machine, dishwasher and cleaning up the floor and when I'm doing that I'm thinking about clothes mountain I have to fold, put away and the dinner I have to prepare for myself. I keep thinking that one of these days I'll be in a routine and things will get easier...when, I'm not sure, but hoping soon.
We've been in the US now for 5 months and I still feel like somedays I've just arrived and that I'm still in the chaos of having just moved country. Our house is littered with 'to do' jobs and 'will get there' projects that wait for weekends and then weeks and then weekends again. I sometimes dream that a seven bed country home with enough space to hide everything might make me feel like my life is a bit less chaotic.
I am confused about a lot of things these days. I received the 'good to go' from the US government a few weeks ago and am now officially allowed to seek employment here. I have always wanted to go back to work. I don't know why but being a full time SAHM (which btw means stay at home mom- took me a while to figure that out too) has never been something I wanted. I love my kids, just not 24/7/365. So, with the rest of America I began looking for work. I've been pretty fortunate in the past having fallen into roles and having known the right people to get the right jobs before W and E but here in the city of dreams I feel lost. I have registered with agencies, spoken to contacts, googled jobs till I'm square eyed yet nothing. I've woken up to a whole world of NO.
I used to love job hunting, interviews and everything that came with it. I used to think it meant an hour devoted to talking about me. And now I love the idea of getting dressed up, feeling like I can wear clothes that aren't going to have grubby hands smeared all over them within five minutes. I've been feeling a bit down hearted that despite my efforts I haven't received much love. I seemed to think it would be easier.
I am still trying to market and promote Little Prints William here in Hoboken and New York and have also recently taken up sewing and started a new project called That Sew Cute. Maybe this is where my time goes? Making seriously cute baby bedding and accessories for little E has now got me thinking I can do it for the general public. If you haven't already had the chance - check out my new website: www.thatsewcute.com.
As I write this my house looks like an indian wedding, I've rice stuck between my toes and I'd rather sit in the corner ignoring the kids, sipping my cold Sav B hoping the mess cleans itself up then face up to it.
Pete is out tonight having drinks after work and although I obviously don't mind his time out and appreciate he needs some time to have fun too, I wonder now what it's like to go out not having to worry about feeding, bath and bed whilst trying to put on make up and change outfits three of four times. At least here I'm not sweating like I used to in Singapore. Although I remember in Singapore I never used to bath my kids, or put them to bed- and then I get depressed and have more wine.
Despite my moaning, I'm loving Hoboken, my new friends, Macy's and my new wardrobe (pics should follow soon) and can't wait till summer here. Next Wednesday I am off to Miami beach for 4 nights sans kids (thanks Granny and Gaga). Life is incredibly different from what it was this time last year but I don't think I'd go back or change a thing.
It might be lonelier, much more hard work but wine is a sh*t load cheaper - thank God!
x
Sunday, 1 April 2012
March Madness
So much has happened in the last month I don't even know where to begin....
I can't believe it's April and that we have been in New York for almost four months. It feels like yesterday I gave my best friend a hug goodbye yet forever without her around.
The past month has been a tough one. On Friday 18th February at 5am in the morning with my (Kate Spade) bag packed, I sat nervously on the couch at home waiting for my lift to hospital to have my hernia operated on. Arriving for surgery on your own is a pretty awful feeling. Doc had discovered whilst having my tests done earlier in the week that we of course don't own a car (yet), so I would be getting a taxi to and from hospital. She also couldn't grasp the concept that I didn't have any family or friends around to ask for help, so after what seemed like ages of in-depth whispering and calls I was moved from Summit Hospital to Florham Park private medical centre and collected and delivered home by private limo. Nothing like a 10 seat mini bus with bar to take you to hospital. The whole experience was surreal. The last time I was poked and prodded strapped to a table I woke up to Emma. Sadly this time it was George who swept the floors Tuesday to Friday, lived in Newark and has a son called Dominic. My surgery was however completed successfully and four hours later I was wheeled outside and on my way home. Felt like I was coming back from an unsuccessful shopping trip to Target.
The weeks since have been good and bad. I was under strict instruction not to pick up either kid for 4 weeks, keep bending over to a minimum and refrain from all strenuous activity. With two kids under the age of three I have found that SO easy. I explained to Emma, 17 months going on genius, that I couldn't pick her up or cuddle her because I'd just been operated on and she seemed fine with it. No problem whatsoever. My kids are happy to bath themselves, Emma has found a way to spring jump catapult herself into her cot, William is confident climbing the fridge to get his own milk and even occasionally able to start the gas burner to cook dinner in time for Pete coming home at 10pm. Now if I could just figure out a way to get him to school on his own, I'll be sorted.
Pete kindly took a couple week's off work and assisted with my recovery which in some ways was great. Some ways. Every way. By day three I was fully mobile again and with little pain and discomfort able to get up and do most things. William was dropped at school, Emma bundled into the pram and Pete and I would wander the streets of Hoboken or NYC, drink coffee and read books. Apart from my fleeting moments of guilt for being slightly incapable, the first two week's breezed by and I felt like I was back in Singapore with someone to help bath my kids, cook and feed them dinner and tidy up after me. Could I go back for more next month please?
Never one to slow down or sit still, 8 days after the op, feeling like there was little or nothing wrong with me, we boarded a flight and headed to Houston for the weekend to visit good friends. After a rather stressful- to put it nicely- shitty month, it was so great to be somewhere warmer with familiar faces. Houston Rodeo rocked and the weekend was everything I wanted and needed. I was so sad to leave on Monday afternoon. Back to the cold, back to being alone.
Pete's job- as I'm sure he will admit- isn't exactly what we had in mind when first moving here. Singapore spoilt us in so many ways. I think he's found it hard actually having to 'work' again but we've found it extremely difficult the hours he's had to put in. Singapore expat wife one day, Wall street widow the next. It's been a shock to the system. I'm sure for him having to put so many man hours in but for me too, spending so much time alone. Thankfully I quite like my company but still, it hasn't been easy. So, to get a break, a bit of help and attend a beautiful wedding I decided the day after coming back from Houston to head to South Africa for 3 weeks. It was a crazy 24 hours- arriving back in New York at 10pm, unpacking, putting the kids to sleep, packing, sleeping, waking up at 4.30am and heading to JFK for the 16 hour flight to Johannesburg. Being my 4th solo flight with both kids I think I'm well trained to know what works and what doesn't. I am extremely grateful they are very well behaved children (on flights) and surprisingly actually enjoy it.
South Africa was amazing. Kerry's wedding was so beautiful- even if I only got to see two hours of the reception- and I really loved the opportunity to spend as much time as I got to with my sister and her two kids, considering two years ago we hardly spoke to each other or even acknowledged one's existence. There is something so magical about Africa that will always draw me back and always make me wish I lived there. Not sure my Kate Spade collection would be fully appreciated in Pietermaritzburg or whether I would survive, but non the less it will always be 'home'. The three weeks passed so quickly and so did the flight home. I'm still in disbelief that both kids slept 11 of the 16 hours back to New York.
It's good to be back in Hoboken. I arrived back to my approval for employment so I guess there's no excuse now for not making a concerted effort to find a job. Since being back it's great to see my new friends, familiar faces and to get the kids back into routine. I have sure missed daycare!
I'm thinking that possibly things might actually be getting better...
The weeks since have been good and bad. I was under strict instruction not to pick up either kid for 4 weeks, keep bending over to a minimum and refrain from all strenuous activity. With two kids under the age of three I have found that SO easy. I explained to Emma, 17 months going on genius, that I couldn't pick her up or cuddle her because I'd just been operated on and she seemed fine with it. No problem whatsoever. My kids are happy to bath themselves, Emma has found a way to spring jump catapult herself into her cot, William is confident climbing the fridge to get his own milk and even occasionally able to start the gas burner to cook dinner in time for Pete coming home at 10pm. Now if I could just figure out a way to get him to school on his own, I'll be sorted.
Pete kindly took a couple week's off work and assisted with my recovery which in some ways was great. Some ways. Every way. By day three I was fully mobile again and with little pain and discomfort able to get up and do most things. William was dropped at school, Emma bundled into the pram and Pete and I would wander the streets of Hoboken or NYC, drink coffee and read books. Apart from my fleeting moments of guilt for being slightly incapable, the first two week's breezed by and I felt like I was back in Singapore with someone to help bath my kids, cook and feed them dinner and tidy up after me. Could I go back for more next month please?
Never one to slow down or sit still, 8 days after the op, feeling like there was little or nothing wrong with me, we boarded a flight and headed to Houston for the weekend to visit good friends. After a rather stressful- to put it nicely- shitty month, it was so great to be somewhere warmer with familiar faces. Houston Rodeo rocked and the weekend was everything I wanted and needed. I was so sad to leave on Monday afternoon. Back to the cold, back to being alone.
Pete's job- as I'm sure he will admit- isn't exactly what we had in mind when first moving here. Singapore spoilt us in so many ways. I think he's found it hard actually having to 'work' again but we've found it extremely difficult the hours he's had to put in. Singapore expat wife one day, Wall street widow the next. It's been a shock to the system. I'm sure for him having to put so many man hours in but for me too, spending so much time alone. Thankfully I quite like my company but still, it hasn't been easy. So, to get a break, a bit of help and attend a beautiful wedding I decided the day after coming back from Houston to head to South Africa for 3 weeks. It was a crazy 24 hours- arriving back in New York at 10pm, unpacking, putting the kids to sleep, packing, sleeping, waking up at 4.30am and heading to JFK for the 16 hour flight to Johannesburg. Being my 4th solo flight with both kids I think I'm well trained to know what works and what doesn't. I am extremely grateful they are very well behaved children (on flights) and surprisingly actually enjoy it.
South Africa was amazing. Kerry's wedding was so beautiful- even if I only got to see two hours of the reception- and I really loved the opportunity to spend as much time as I got to with my sister and her two kids, considering two years ago we hardly spoke to each other or even acknowledged one's existence. There is something so magical about Africa that will always draw me back and always make me wish I lived there. Not sure my Kate Spade collection would be fully appreciated in Pietermaritzburg or whether I would survive, but non the less it will always be 'home'. The three weeks passed so quickly and so did the flight home. I'm still in disbelief that both kids slept 11 of the 16 hours back to New York.
It's good to be back in Hoboken. I arrived back to my approval for employment so I guess there's no excuse now for not making a concerted effort to find a job. Since being back it's great to see my new friends, familiar faces and to get the kids back into routine. I have sure missed daycare!
I'm thinking that possibly things might actually be getting better...
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
When it rains... it pours.
Its Valentines day and whilst waiting for the train back to Hoboken from Millburn, NJ this afternoon, sitting in gloriously sunny weather for February, my hubby turned to me with an affectionate look in his eyes then said 'It isn't easy being married to you. Nothings ever straightforward'
Awww, how romantic.
Ok, yes I agree, nothing ever seems straightforward and I am prone to the odd melodramatic performance but isn't every marriage like this? Its true to say in my life, when it rains, it pours.
If moving to a new country with two toddlers, leaving all my friends and comfortable life behind wasn't enough oh I know what, I'll go rupture a stomach muscle and get me an umbilical hernia. Yes, that sounds fun.
Hernia is one of those words that just sounds odd. Kind of like the word blog.
Pete asked after my appointment with the surgeon this morning if I was able to keep it. Keep it? Um, what? Not sure he realises it's not gallstones. So, for anyone else who is slightly confused, to save you time having to google it, a hernia (umbilical that is) is basically a protrusion formed from the inner lining of your belly (abdominal cavity) that pushes through a hole in the abdominal wall (muscle tear) at the belly button. It turns out that hernias are fairly common especially in woman after pregnancy. I (apparently) developed mine in December due to stress and a change in my lifestyle activities. That made me laugh. Change in my lifestyle activities - ie; actually parenting, bathing my kids, feeding my kids, pushing my kids up and down New York City in a pram all day, bending over and tidying toys, cleaning up mess and doing housework. Yes, there was definite change. Paybacks a bitch.
We got up this morning, dropped William off at school and then headed to Hoboken's Bariatric clinic where I had an appointment to see one of New Jersey's leading general surgeons. My appointment was scheduled for 9.20am. 9.30 with the offices still locked I decided to give them a call. Tuesday appointments are run from their Springfield office near Millburn, New Jersey, a 40 minute drive away. Thanks for telling me that.
Four hours, one very expensive taxi ride and three Drs later I was signing my life away, filing out insurance claim forms and agreeing to pre-assesment tests for surgery scheduled for this Friday morning. I was not expecting that. Of course I burst into tears.
I'm not sure what to think about another impending surgery. At least the last time I went into hospital a baby came home. This time it's in a wierd town to an unknown Dr and with no family or friends around, I'm nervous to say the least. Nervous, scared, resentful, grateful. Emotional.
Apart from thinking how things will go on Friday I keep thinking at the back of my mind, What next? Seriously? Might it be possible that after the surgery and the supposed month of recovery that I might actually be able to lead a normal life without something else coming up to bite me in the ass?
And Why? Why me? Why now?
I've had some moments of complete darkness, when I'm feeling so sick in the stomach and where I think I hate the world, my life and my luck but thankfully it only takes one look at my two beautiful kids to make me stop feeling sorry for myself and for me to still be grateful for what I've got; the health of my kids, my husband, the house we live in, my family (although absent) and the understanding from Pete and his company to let him have two weeks off to stay at home and help look after us. Without them I don't know what I'd do. I know my mom would do anything to be here to help out next week and I keep going on about being so sad that I have no family around, but then I realise, I do. I overlook that Pete, William and Emma are my family and what matter most to me.
I came home this afternoon from having blood tests and William ran to me at the door, hugged me and said, ' I'm so glad you're home mommy, you're not sick anymore, I missed you I love you so much. Let me kiss you better' That made me cry tears of joy.
What ever I did to deserve this I guess everything happens for a reason. The good side of today. We got to see a lot of the beautiful countryside of New Jersey and I had my first ever ECG, on Valentines Day. Turns out #Ihaveahealthyworkingheart .
So, with a BIG sigh, I'm off to bed.x
Awww, how romantic.
Ok, yes I agree, nothing ever seems straightforward and I am prone to the odd melodramatic performance but isn't every marriage like this? Its true to say in my life, when it rains, it pours.
If moving to a new country with two toddlers, leaving all my friends and comfortable life behind wasn't enough oh I know what, I'll go rupture a stomach muscle and get me an umbilical hernia. Yes, that sounds fun.
Hernia is one of those words that just sounds odd. Kind of like the word blog.
Pete asked after my appointment with the surgeon this morning if I was able to keep it. Keep it? Um, what? Not sure he realises it's not gallstones. So, for anyone else who is slightly confused, to save you time having to google it, a hernia (umbilical that is) is basically a protrusion formed from the inner lining of your belly (abdominal cavity) that pushes through a hole in the abdominal wall (muscle tear) at the belly button. It turns out that hernias are fairly common especially in woman after pregnancy. I (apparently) developed mine in December due to stress and a change in my lifestyle activities. That made me laugh. Change in my lifestyle activities - ie; actually parenting, bathing my kids, feeding my kids, pushing my kids up and down New York City in a pram all day, bending over and tidying toys, cleaning up mess and doing housework. Yes, there was definite change. Paybacks a bitch.
We got up this morning, dropped William off at school and then headed to Hoboken's Bariatric clinic where I had an appointment to see one of New Jersey's leading general surgeons. My appointment was scheduled for 9.20am. 9.30 with the offices still locked I decided to give them a call. Tuesday appointments are run from their Springfield office near Millburn, New Jersey, a 40 minute drive away. Thanks for telling me that.
Four hours, one very expensive taxi ride and three Drs later I was signing my life away, filing out insurance claim forms and agreeing to pre-assesment tests for surgery scheduled for this Friday morning. I was not expecting that. Of course I burst into tears.
I'm not sure what to think about another impending surgery. At least the last time I went into hospital a baby came home. This time it's in a wierd town to an unknown Dr and with no family or friends around, I'm nervous to say the least. Nervous, scared, resentful, grateful. Emotional.
Apart from thinking how things will go on Friday I keep thinking at the back of my mind, What next? Seriously? Might it be possible that after the surgery and the supposed month of recovery that I might actually be able to lead a normal life without something else coming up to bite me in the ass?
And Why? Why me? Why now?
I've had some moments of complete darkness, when I'm feeling so sick in the stomach and where I think I hate the world, my life and my luck but thankfully it only takes one look at my two beautiful kids to make me stop feeling sorry for myself and for me to still be grateful for what I've got; the health of my kids, my husband, the house we live in, my family (although absent) and the understanding from Pete and his company to let him have two weeks off to stay at home and help look after us. Without them I don't know what I'd do. I know my mom would do anything to be here to help out next week and I keep going on about being so sad that I have no family around, but then I realise, I do. I overlook that Pete, William and Emma are my family and what matter most to me.
I came home this afternoon from having blood tests and William ran to me at the door, hugged me and said, ' I'm so glad you're home mommy, you're not sick anymore, I missed you I love you so much. Let me kiss you better' That made me cry tears of joy.
What ever I did to deserve this I guess everything happens for a reason. The good side of today. We got to see a lot of the beautiful countryside of New Jersey and I had my first ever ECG, on Valentines Day. Turns out #Ihaveahealthyworkingheart .
So, with a BIG sigh, I'm off to bed.x
Monday, 6 February 2012
Hello February...
Another week done. I can't believe its February already.
It feels strange that Hoboken and the US are now beginning to feel like home. I go about my day to day life sometimes forgetting that I'm only 20 minutes away from New York City and it takes a trip to my gym which is located on the 7th floor of a condo here with the most amazing views of the city, for me to realise where I am.
Hoboken seems perfect for us and despite only being here 3 weeks, I love it. Apart from being so close to NYC, the streets are quiet enough to walk down on weekdays and weekends, the parks are great, the amenities for kids are really good and the people are lovely.
I'm finally getting into a routine these days which is making my life that much easier. (This doesn't mean getting dressed every morning is any better but we'll work on that) Before moving to the US I thought Gina Ford was a load of sh*. No offense. I'm not saying I'm converted but I've come to realise she has a few sensible things to say about how to juggle family, life and 'me time' without having full time help. Everyday I think about my old life in Singapore and what I used to get up to. What did I get up to? What did I do without having to think about laundry, cleaning, cooking and kids? I keep thinking when I'm folding clothes, sweeping up crumbs and doing other boring repetitive tedious menial domestic tasks that hey its ok as one of these days I'll wake up and be back in the land of undomestic bliss. A girl can dream.
Despite my 'hardship' I'm glad to report things are definitely getting better. Last week I met a few girls and with a small growing circle of friends, with kids the same age as mine, weekly activities and things to do, I'm finally feeling happier. It might also be that I woke up Saturday morning and realised too that maybe I just need to harden the f* up and stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes, its tough and yes I'm never going to have perfectly manicured fingers again, perfectly plucked eyebrows or ironed clothes, my kitchen floor will always be sticky, bath toys will never be clean, my cds won't be in alphabetical order and the coffee cups with their handles all pointing the same way but I can learn to live with that.
William has settled into day care really well and seems to have lots of good things to say every afternoon when I collect him. I miss him so much when he's there and I hate drop off, but I know that he's benefiting from having constant kid/ teacher interaction and I'm not sure what I'd do with him everyday five days a week if he didn't go. I love the fact that these days we have such good conversations on the way home from school and that he remembers everything we do and say. It amazes me everyday the quirky things he says and how much he knows. And boy does he talk a LOT! The amazon delivery guy gets a welcome, come on in, who are you, what are you doing, where are you going, what have you got and full run down of the day every time we get something delivered.
Having Emma around 24/7 is proving quite hard. I joined the gym just as we moved into our place hoping I would get the opportunity to go at least three or four times a week. They have a kids club where you can drop said kid off to be entertained by a few kid entertainers allowing you time to gym before collecting happily entertained kid. So, last Tuesday I geared up, dropped Will off at school, trotted along to the gym and got Emma all excited about what was in store for her. She seemed to look around the room with amazement as all kids do when put in a new place full of new exciting toys yet strange people, I signed a couple forms and hot footed it out. I stretched for all of 2 minutes and got onto one of the treadmills. Marathon training begins. (I've entered the New York Marathon).
9 minutes. 9 whole friggin minutes and kid entertainer came and asked me to take Emma out. Apparently she was screaming so much she was freaking all the other kids out. I sat with her for another twenty minutes to try see if she'd change her mind but there's no point asking Emma to do something she doesn't want to do. Stubborn as her father.
So, we'll try again tomorrow....
I'm still not used to the kids sharing a bedroom and like they say if it's not one thing it's another, or is it if it's not one it's the other. William has been waking up a few times these past few nights with various complaints so I'm only assuming tonight if it's not another moan about his black eye (slide injury) or cut finger (door injury) or emotional injuries (today a slightly older looking kid in the playground told William to leave the play area otherwise he'd shoot him. American kids!) it'll be Emma wanting a hug at 3am. So, I'm off to bed. Night.x
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Why?
Having kids, being on my own in a new country, having to look after myself, house, husband and two children for the first time ever these past 6 weeks, has got me doing a lot of thinking. I have started to question a LOT of things. Why? Why? Why?
I knew that eventually the cold would get the better of us. William surprisingly seems to cope with 'little man flu' a lot better than Emma does. I guess that after starting nursery they were bound to come home with something infectious and I should be grateful for colds and coughs.
Now that our furniture has arrived and been unpacked for almost a week I keep thinking to myself that this is now my 'normal' life. So, I am trying to get myself, house, husband and the kids into a routine so that eventually I can start to feel normal. William settled into nursery, sorry day care, surprisingly easily and goes Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays now for pretty much the whole day. I'm meant to drop him off at 8.30 every morning but so far (he's been for 4 days) the earliest I've managed is 8:55. We're averaging 9 / 9:15. Getting dressed every morning is still proving a challenge. I'm running out of ways to make putting on pants fun.
Emma was enrolled to the same day care to attend two days a week to allow me some time to paint, take care of the house, clean, grocery shop and go to gym but after one morning and one full day we've decided to keep her home. Part of me missed her and hated dropping her off knowing that she would spend most of the day unhappy wondering where I was (and I'm not bigging myself up here) but we also realised it's probably a cost that we just cant justify until I find work. Turns out she is quite easy to look after on her own and the past two days we've enjoyed wandering the streets of Hoboken, having coffee in the park, playing on the swings - her, not me, and yesterday we even ventured over to NYC to visit friends and try the coffee east of the Hudson. I realise when visiting New York how chaotic it is compared to Hoboken. I love my new neighborhood but I do LOVE New York City. We strolled the streets of West Village into Greenwich Village - give me a couple years until all my dreams have come true and I'll be settled in a brown house just round the corner from Marc, Karl and Kate.
Pete asked me yesterday if being a full time stay at home mom was rewarding. I couldn't answer. When William isn't around me I miss him and the thought of putting Emma in day care makes me sad but yet put the three of us in a house together for one day by 10am I'm ready to send both packing off to boarding school and go get the wine out the fridge.
Why can I not cope? Why do I let them get to me? Why am I not more understanding? Why do I not know what to do with them?
What do other stay at home moms do? Do they really play lego with their kids all day and read and paint? Am I meant to treat my kids at home as if they're at nursery? Am I meant to give them a structured creative learning environment where they will be kept appropriately busy for the majority of the day? Should being a stay at home mom basically mean being an unpaid nanny?
Am I being unrealistic thinking that with both my kids at home I could expect to do my own thing?
I dont know what to think anymore. I just don't seem to cope.
Come on moms - please leave your comments - I need some advice!
My day today so far...
6.55am Woken up by Pete yelling down the stairs it was time for me to get up. Get out of bed, realise I still cant breath properly and am definitely losing my voice. Go upstairs, say morning to the kids, see Emma start crying. Step over yesterday's dirty clothes at the top of the stairs, walk into the lounge, get rugby tackled from William, watch Emma still crying as I wont pick her up. Watch as Pete makes coffee and then promptly leaves for work. Sit down on the sofa and drink coffee.
7am: Get up off sofa and step over Emma still crying as I wont pick her up. Go to the kitchen to make breakfast. Offer kids cereal or porridge. William choses cereal. Pour two bowls of oat squares and cheerios. Finally pick up Emma, clean her snotty face, put her in the high chair. Realise the high chair hasn't been cleaned since yesterday's dinner. Take her out the high chair. Clean both high chairs whilst stepping over Emma as she's now crying as she thinks breakfast isn't coming anymore. Get the kids eating. Prepare William's lunch for school, chop fruit, make sandwiches, prepare snacks, pack school bags. Make toast for kids who've spilt half their cereal over the floor. Find the kitchen towel to clean cereal mess. Clean cereal mess. Clean up bowls and high chairs. Clean kids, help kids out. Tidy kitchen, pack dishwasher.
Get kids to come downstairs to get ready for school. Find clothes, thermals and socks. Try get Emma to sit still so that I can dress her. Run after Emma and force her to sit still so that I can dress her. Change nappy and dress Emma. Find William fiddling in our bedroom with all my socks. Pack all my socks back into my cupboard. Get William to come back to his bedroom to get dressed. Ask him 10 times to sit still to help me help him get dressed. Try stop Emma from climbing the stairs. Run after Emma as she's about to climb into the washing machine. Go back to the bedroom to try get William dressed. Put half of Williams clothes on. Realise someone smells of poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Ask William to put his own socks on whilst I change Emma's nappy. Take off all Emma's clothes I just spent 20 minutes trying to put on. Change nappy. Force clothes back on. Get William to sit still so that I can put his socks on. Notice both socks aren't the same colour. He wants both socks the same colour. Cant find two socks the same colour. Try convince William that different coloured socks is cool. Watch as he throws a strop because he wants same coloured socks. Try run after Emma who has climbed half way up the stairs. Get the kids upstairs. Lock the baby gate.
Go back downstairs to try get myself ready. Shower. Wander around bedroom in a towel trying to find clean clothes. Struggle to find jeans. Walk back up stairs and find jeans at the top of the stairs in the dirty clothes pile. Try on jeans. Realise jeans are covered in too much kiddie snot, dirt and food to wear. Take jeans off. Wander around the house half naked trying to find something else to wear. Finally find another pair of jeans in the dryer. Put on slightly damp jeans. Figure those will do great for my cold. Tie hair up and run upstairs as I can hear the kids fighting. Realise I haven't put any make up on. Figure today I'll have to do without. Try find the one sock William has pulled off his foot and thrown across the room. Get all the bags together. Turn the lights off. Get the kids to go downstairs to the entrance hall to get coats on.
Get downstairs and someone smells of poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Put William's shoes on. Find Williams coat and hat. Try convince William to sit still in the corner whilst I change Emma's nappy. Take off Emma's clothes. Change nappy. Put clothes back on. Put Emma's shoes on. Find Emma's coat and hat. Open front door, walk down 4 more stairs to our inside/ outside entrance to get into pram. Clean Emma's foot muff from all yesterdays crackers and watermelon. Try stop Emma from climbing the stairs and William from running outside. Put William in the pram. Someone smells of Poo. Ignore smell. Get Emma into her foot muff in the pram. Stop William from whacking Emma in the face. Find my own coat. Realise I dont have socks and shoes on. Leave kids and go back up stairs to get socks and shoes. Get back downstairs and finally get ready to go outside. Walk outside and realise its raining. Go back inside. Try find raincover. Cover pram. Walk down the road on route to William's school. Get about 2 minutes away and get told that little dog is at home. Little dog has to come to school. Go back home. Try open both our front doors whilst getting wet. Push pram inside. Go back inside and upstairs to get little dog. Try leave for school again. Walk 10 minutes to Williams school whilst getting wet. Cant hold an umbrella and push a double pram with windy rain. Get to William's school at 9:45. Realise his class has left already for their walk to the park not back until 10.30. Cant leave William on his own. Have to keep him off school today.
Walk over 2 miles to get back to the other side of town and to Emma's Thursday morning music class. Get to Emma's music class with only 5 minutes to go. Decide theirs no point going in so head next door to Starbucks instead for coffee. Order the biggest coffee they have and down it. Sit down for the first time since 7am and start crying. Stop crying as I'm getting odd looks from people in Starbucks and from William. Walk back home in the rain. Get home. Sit on the steps in our inside/ outside hall and watch both kids asleep in the pram. Wonder what I'm doing wrong. Wonder why I can't seem to cope. Cry. Take William out when he wakes up. Let William into the house and try play with him quietly till Emma wakes up. Tire of playing cars. Try start tidying up our study. Stop William from going outside. Stop William from playing with the rubbish bin. Stop William from playing with the TV cabinet. Stop William from playing with the bath in the spare bathroom downstairs. Hear Emma crying. Take Emma out pram. Take kids upstairs. Try get the kids to eat lunch. Remember lunch bags are in the pram downstairs. Leave kids upstairs and get lunch bags. Try feed kids lunch. Watch as Emma refuses help to eat and throws all her food all over the floor. Clean the floor. Clean Emma. Unpack dishwasher, pack away dishes, pack dishwasher. Smell Poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Wish for once she could change it herself. Take off Emma's clothes. Change nappy. Leave clothes off. Put Peppa PIg on TV. Hope the kids will sit still for 5 minutes to watch TV. Realise that apart from coffee haven't had anything else to drink or eat all day. Go to the kitchen to contemplate making lunch. Stop William from snatching toys from Emma. Listen to William moaning that he doesnt want to watch Peppa Pig. Count to ten whilst William screams on the floor. Try not yell at him. Try not punch something. Step over Emma who's now crying because I wont pick her up. Persuade the kids its sleep time. Get the kids downstairs to their bedroom. Put them in their cots. Listen to them both screaming. Think how lucky I am to have such wonderful kids. Close bedroom door to block out screaming. Go back upstairs to make lunch. Feel slighly sick from hunger. Decide to go lie down instead. Sleep.
To Be Continued...
Kids are asleep now, hubby came home early and I'm off to bed. Fingers crossed tomorrow will be better than today. x
I knew that eventually the cold would get the better of us. William surprisingly seems to cope with 'little man flu' a lot better than Emma does. I guess that after starting nursery they were bound to come home with something infectious and I should be grateful for colds and coughs.
Now that our furniture has arrived and been unpacked for almost a week I keep thinking to myself that this is now my 'normal' life. So, I am trying to get myself, house, husband and the kids into a routine so that eventually I can start to feel normal. William settled into nursery, sorry day care, surprisingly easily and goes Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays now for pretty much the whole day. I'm meant to drop him off at 8.30 every morning but so far (he's been for 4 days) the earliest I've managed is 8:55. We're averaging 9 / 9:15. Getting dressed every morning is still proving a challenge. I'm running out of ways to make putting on pants fun.
Emma was enrolled to the same day care to attend two days a week to allow me some time to paint, take care of the house, clean, grocery shop and go to gym but after one morning and one full day we've decided to keep her home. Part of me missed her and hated dropping her off knowing that she would spend most of the day unhappy wondering where I was (and I'm not bigging myself up here) but we also realised it's probably a cost that we just cant justify until I find work. Turns out she is quite easy to look after on her own and the past two days we've enjoyed wandering the streets of Hoboken, having coffee in the park, playing on the swings - her, not me, and yesterday we even ventured over to NYC to visit friends and try the coffee east of the Hudson. I realise when visiting New York how chaotic it is compared to Hoboken. I love my new neighborhood but I do LOVE New York City. We strolled the streets of West Village into Greenwich Village - give me a couple years until all my dreams have come true and I'll be settled in a brown house just round the corner from Marc, Karl and Kate.
Pete asked me yesterday if being a full time stay at home mom was rewarding. I couldn't answer. When William isn't around me I miss him and the thought of putting Emma in day care makes me sad but yet put the three of us in a house together for one day by 10am I'm ready to send both packing off to boarding school and go get the wine out the fridge.
Why can I not cope? Why do I let them get to me? Why am I not more understanding? Why do I not know what to do with them?
What do other stay at home moms do? Do they really play lego with their kids all day and read and paint? Am I meant to treat my kids at home as if they're at nursery? Am I meant to give them a structured creative learning environment where they will be kept appropriately busy for the majority of the day? Should being a stay at home mom basically mean being an unpaid nanny?
Am I being unrealistic thinking that with both my kids at home I could expect to do my own thing?
I dont know what to think anymore. I just don't seem to cope.
Come on moms - please leave your comments - I need some advice!
My day today so far...
6.55am Woken up by Pete yelling down the stairs it was time for me to get up. Get out of bed, realise I still cant breath properly and am definitely losing my voice. Go upstairs, say morning to the kids, see Emma start crying. Step over yesterday's dirty clothes at the top of the stairs, walk into the lounge, get rugby tackled from William, watch Emma still crying as I wont pick her up. Watch as Pete makes coffee and then promptly leaves for work. Sit down on the sofa and drink coffee.
7am: Get up off sofa and step over Emma still crying as I wont pick her up. Go to the kitchen to make breakfast. Offer kids cereal or porridge. William choses cereal. Pour two bowls of oat squares and cheerios. Finally pick up Emma, clean her snotty face, put her in the high chair. Realise the high chair hasn't been cleaned since yesterday's dinner. Take her out the high chair. Clean both high chairs whilst stepping over Emma as she's now crying as she thinks breakfast isn't coming anymore. Get the kids eating. Prepare William's lunch for school, chop fruit, make sandwiches, prepare snacks, pack school bags. Make toast for kids who've spilt half their cereal over the floor. Find the kitchen towel to clean cereal mess. Clean cereal mess. Clean up bowls and high chairs. Clean kids, help kids out. Tidy kitchen, pack dishwasher.
Get kids to come downstairs to get ready for school. Find clothes, thermals and socks. Try get Emma to sit still so that I can dress her. Run after Emma and force her to sit still so that I can dress her. Change nappy and dress Emma. Find William fiddling in our bedroom with all my socks. Pack all my socks back into my cupboard. Get William to come back to his bedroom to get dressed. Ask him 10 times to sit still to help me help him get dressed. Try stop Emma from climbing the stairs. Run after Emma as she's about to climb into the washing machine. Go back to the bedroom to try get William dressed. Put half of Williams clothes on. Realise someone smells of poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Ask William to put his own socks on whilst I change Emma's nappy. Take off all Emma's clothes I just spent 20 minutes trying to put on. Change nappy. Force clothes back on. Get William to sit still so that I can put his socks on. Notice both socks aren't the same colour. He wants both socks the same colour. Cant find two socks the same colour. Try convince William that different coloured socks is cool. Watch as he throws a strop because he wants same coloured socks. Try run after Emma who has climbed half way up the stairs. Get the kids upstairs. Lock the baby gate.
Go back downstairs to try get myself ready. Shower. Wander around bedroom in a towel trying to find clean clothes. Struggle to find jeans. Walk back up stairs and find jeans at the top of the stairs in the dirty clothes pile. Try on jeans. Realise jeans are covered in too much kiddie snot, dirt and food to wear. Take jeans off. Wander around the house half naked trying to find something else to wear. Finally find another pair of jeans in the dryer. Put on slightly damp jeans. Figure those will do great for my cold. Tie hair up and run upstairs as I can hear the kids fighting. Realise I haven't put any make up on. Figure today I'll have to do without. Try find the one sock William has pulled off his foot and thrown across the room. Get all the bags together. Turn the lights off. Get the kids to go downstairs to the entrance hall to get coats on.
Get downstairs and someone smells of poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Put William's shoes on. Find Williams coat and hat. Try convince William to sit still in the corner whilst I change Emma's nappy. Take off Emma's clothes. Change nappy. Put clothes back on. Put Emma's shoes on. Find Emma's coat and hat. Open front door, walk down 4 more stairs to our inside/ outside entrance to get into pram. Clean Emma's foot muff from all yesterdays crackers and watermelon. Try stop Emma from climbing the stairs and William from running outside. Put William in the pram. Someone smells of Poo. Ignore smell. Get Emma into her foot muff in the pram. Stop William from whacking Emma in the face. Find my own coat. Realise I dont have socks and shoes on. Leave kids and go back up stairs to get socks and shoes. Get back downstairs and finally get ready to go outside. Walk outside and realise its raining. Go back inside. Try find raincover. Cover pram. Walk down the road on route to William's school. Get about 2 minutes away and get told that little dog is at home. Little dog has to come to school. Go back home. Try open both our front doors whilst getting wet. Push pram inside. Go back inside and upstairs to get little dog. Try leave for school again. Walk 10 minutes to Williams school whilst getting wet. Cant hold an umbrella and push a double pram with windy rain. Get to William's school at 9:45. Realise his class has left already for their walk to the park not back until 10.30. Cant leave William on his own. Have to keep him off school today.
Walk over 2 miles to get back to the other side of town and to Emma's Thursday morning music class. Get to Emma's music class with only 5 minutes to go. Decide theirs no point going in so head next door to Starbucks instead for coffee. Order the biggest coffee they have and down it. Sit down for the first time since 7am and start crying. Stop crying as I'm getting odd looks from people in Starbucks and from William. Walk back home in the rain. Get home. Sit on the steps in our inside/ outside hall and watch both kids asleep in the pram. Wonder what I'm doing wrong. Wonder why I can't seem to cope. Cry. Take William out when he wakes up. Let William into the house and try play with him quietly till Emma wakes up. Tire of playing cars. Try start tidying up our study. Stop William from going outside. Stop William from playing with the rubbish bin. Stop William from playing with the TV cabinet. Stop William from playing with the bath in the spare bathroom downstairs. Hear Emma crying. Take Emma out pram. Take kids upstairs. Try get the kids to eat lunch. Remember lunch bags are in the pram downstairs. Leave kids upstairs and get lunch bags. Try feed kids lunch. Watch as Emma refuses help to eat and throws all her food all over the floor. Clean the floor. Clean Emma. Unpack dishwasher, pack away dishes, pack dishwasher. Smell Poo. Check Emma's nappy. Poo. Wish for once she could change it herself. Take off Emma's clothes. Change nappy. Leave clothes off. Put Peppa PIg on TV. Hope the kids will sit still for 5 minutes to watch TV. Realise that apart from coffee haven't had anything else to drink or eat all day. Go to the kitchen to contemplate making lunch. Stop William from snatching toys from Emma. Listen to William moaning that he doesnt want to watch Peppa Pig. Count to ten whilst William screams on the floor. Try not yell at him. Try not punch something. Step over Emma who's now crying because I wont pick her up. Persuade the kids its sleep time. Get the kids downstairs to their bedroom. Put them in their cots. Listen to them both screaming. Think how lucky I am to have such wonderful kids. Close bedroom door to block out screaming. Go back upstairs to make lunch. Feel slighly sick from hunger. Decide to go lie down instead. Sleep.
To Be Continued...
Kids are asleep now, hubby came home early and I'm off to bed. Fingers crossed tomorrow will be better than today. x
Monday, 16 January 2012
Where has 'me time' gone???
We're finally in our new house and official residents of New Jersey, Garden state. Awesome!
I've been trying to update my blog for the past two weeks but every time I get time to write something, something comes up and I usually find by the time I return the information is in need of updating. Apologies. I can only blame two small individuals who seem to be devouring my free time at the moment.
As usual I've been running around like a blue ass fly (I'm not quite sure where that saying comes from) but if blue ass flies never sit still, are constantly badgered from two smaller blue ass flies and occasionally feel more like headless chickens than blue ass flies, then thats me.
I can't think of another time in my life I have felt more stressed than I have been these past few days. Having babies is easier than this. Give me twins. Everything seems such a challenge and the days, although full of activity seem to last FOREVER. Despite the kids running amok in our house for hours and being taking to play gyms its 8.03pm and they're both still awake?! What happened to my 'in bed by 7pm in Singapore time children?' Please tell me!!!
Our move over here hasn't exactly gone to plan. We had hoped our furniture could be in place before moving into our new house to make the transition as easy as possible for the kids but sadly not. All our worldly goods have been stuck somewhere off the coast of Florida and only arrived in New York a couple days ago. I thought living in serviced accommodation was challenging until I moved into a house with nothing in it.
Living in an empty apartment has it's advantages. Its roomy for sure; the kids are loving the space to run around; its easy to maintain; with nothing in it, there's nothing to clean and I'm not constantly finding myself asking William to 'put it back'; there isn't anything to fiddle with, but it also brings a lot of chaos, confusion and boy does it echo. Creaky wooden floor boards can sound incredibly loud when there is nothing else to absorb the noise. Oh, and hardwood floors are so uncomfortable to sit on.
The kids cots were airfreighted over to our serviced apartment so when we arrived in Hoboken on Wednesday they were put up in the house in their now shared bedroom- which they love. We went to Ikea the weekend before to buy a sofa bed (hoping it would be delivered the day we moved in) to see us through till our bed arrives but annoyingly got a call Tuesday afternoon to say that it wasn't going to be delivered till Thursday or Friday (and if there's extreme weather- which I'm only hoping refers to snow and not rain) it wouldn't be till the following Tuesday. So, at 4pm Wednesday afternoon with nothing to sleep on that night we traipsed around Hoboken and Jersey City looking for a cheap alternative to save us from 8 hours in the bath with the three pillows we have.
To cut a very long story short we ended up finding a 'spare' bed, but that wasn't delivered in time either, so after a few stressful hours- and a lot of wine- we managed to locate a Sears store in Newport and luckily a rather inexpensive air bed. So, we now have space in our house for 7 adults and 5 kids. Please come visit!!
The first few days in our house have been great. I have to admit that occasionally I find myself in a corner, eyes closed counting to ten, holding my breath so not to scream at William or Emma for the 100th time, but apart from what I'm going to put down as 'teething problems', everything is seeming a lot better. Sometimes I wonder why we left the comforts of our privileged life in Singapore, but on other days I couldn't picture living anywhere else. It's amazing that you can bath your kids and not sweat. We can run to the park down the road and enjoy 2 hours extreme sliding and come back and wear the same clothes all day and the next if we like. Amazing.
I'm not sure what Pete thinks. I know for one his job isn't exactly what he signed up for. He seems to be at work ALL the time so not only have I had to get used to looking after the kids on my own, I've had to get used to being on my own. I can only say that I've learnt a lot these past few weeks.
For one - I never thought I'd have a playlist on my iphone titled 'cleaning songs'; I never thought I'd be able to drink two bottles of wine on my own on two successive nights and still wake up at 7am the next morning fully function-able; I never thought I'd actually want to send Emma off to nursery school and I never thought I'd actually find supermarket aisles fascinating. I also never thought I'd one day be left to find my new BFF on an online 'friendship dating' website. I knew when leaving Singapore I'd have to go through this whole palaver again of meeting friends, hoping people like me, building up the courage to ask someone out for coffee etc, but I forgot how wierd it is. 'Hi I'm Caroline, I'm a mother of two, I like painting, wine, cheesecake and hate humming, untuned radio stations, whistling and gherkins. Please be my friend'
I joined the website Meet Up and next Monday have 9 strange woman and their children descending on our house for playtime. Wish me luck!
Tomorrow is the kid's first day at nursery. I've managed to get them into a local playgroup for 3 days a week to give me time to clean our house and look for work so I'm hoping it all goes smoothly. If Emma cries I bet I will.
Sorry this update has taken so long. The next one will be coming soon with pics of our new place.;-)
I've been trying to update my blog for the past two weeks but every time I get time to write something, something comes up and I usually find by the time I return the information is in need of updating. Apologies. I can only blame two small individuals who seem to be devouring my free time at the moment.
As usual I've been running around like a blue ass fly (I'm not quite sure where that saying comes from) but if blue ass flies never sit still, are constantly badgered from two smaller blue ass flies and occasionally feel more like headless chickens than blue ass flies, then thats me.
I can't think of another time in my life I have felt more stressed than I have been these past few days. Having babies is easier than this. Give me twins. Everything seems such a challenge and the days, although full of activity seem to last FOREVER. Despite the kids running amok in our house for hours and being taking to play gyms its 8.03pm and they're both still awake?! What happened to my 'in bed by 7pm in Singapore time children?' Please tell me!!!
Our move over here hasn't exactly gone to plan. We had hoped our furniture could be in place before moving into our new house to make the transition as easy as possible for the kids but sadly not. All our worldly goods have been stuck somewhere off the coast of Florida and only arrived in New York a couple days ago. I thought living in serviced accommodation was challenging until I moved into a house with nothing in it.
Living in an empty apartment has it's advantages. Its roomy for sure; the kids are loving the space to run around; its easy to maintain; with nothing in it, there's nothing to clean and I'm not constantly finding myself asking William to 'put it back'; there isn't anything to fiddle with, but it also brings a lot of chaos, confusion and boy does it echo. Creaky wooden floor boards can sound incredibly loud when there is nothing else to absorb the noise. Oh, and hardwood floors are so uncomfortable to sit on.
The kids cots were airfreighted over to our serviced apartment so when we arrived in Hoboken on Wednesday they were put up in the house in their now shared bedroom- which they love. We went to Ikea the weekend before to buy a sofa bed (hoping it would be delivered the day we moved in) to see us through till our bed arrives but annoyingly got a call Tuesday afternoon to say that it wasn't going to be delivered till Thursday or Friday (and if there's extreme weather- which I'm only hoping refers to snow and not rain) it wouldn't be till the following Tuesday. So, at 4pm Wednesday afternoon with nothing to sleep on that night we traipsed around Hoboken and Jersey City looking for a cheap alternative to save us from 8 hours in the bath with the three pillows we have.
To cut a very long story short we ended up finding a 'spare' bed, but that wasn't delivered in time either, so after a few stressful hours- and a lot of wine- we managed to locate a Sears store in Newport and luckily a rather inexpensive air bed. So, we now have space in our house for 7 adults and 5 kids. Please come visit!!
The first few days in our house have been great. I have to admit that occasionally I find myself in a corner, eyes closed counting to ten, holding my breath so not to scream at William or Emma for the 100th time, but apart from what I'm going to put down as 'teething problems', everything is seeming a lot better. Sometimes I wonder why we left the comforts of our privileged life in Singapore, but on other days I couldn't picture living anywhere else. It's amazing that you can bath your kids and not sweat. We can run to the park down the road and enjoy 2 hours extreme sliding and come back and wear the same clothes all day and the next if we like. Amazing.
I'm not sure what Pete thinks. I know for one his job isn't exactly what he signed up for. He seems to be at work ALL the time so not only have I had to get used to looking after the kids on my own, I've had to get used to being on my own. I can only say that I've learnt a lot these past few weeks.
For one - I never thought I'd have a playlist on my iphone titled 'cleaning songs'; I never thought I'd be able to drink two bottles of wine on my own on two successive nights and still wake up at 7am the next morning fully function-able; I never thought I'd actually want to send Emma off to nursery school and I never thought I'd actually find supermarket aisles fascinating. I also never thought I'd one day be left to find my new BFF on an online 'friendship dating' website. I knew when leaving Singapore I'd have to go through this whole palaver again of meeting friends, hoping people like me, building up the courage to ask someone out for coffee etc, but I forgot how wierd it is. 'Hi I'm Caroline, I'm a mother of two, I like painting, wine, cheesecake and hate humming, untuned radio stations, whistling and gherkins. Please be my friend'
I joined the website Meet Up and next Monday have 9 strange woman and their children descending on our house for playtime. Wish me luck!
Tomorrow is the kid's first day at nursery. I've managed to get them into a local playgroup for 3 days a week to give me time to clean our house and look for work so I'm hoping it all goes smoothly. If Emma cries I bet I will.
Sorry this update has taken so long. The next one will be coming soon with pics of our new place.;-)
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